The End?

Not much has been going on in the hockey world, which is part of the reason why I haven't posted for a few days. But there's something now. Tonight might finally be the night that Calgary clinches the last playoff spot. Despite their inability to do so until now, there isn't much hope that the Oilers can beat them. If they drag it into overtime they have a shot, as the Flames suck there, but I can't see that happening. There are still too many "if"s to be fulfilled. Basically, if the Avs are going to make the playoffs, something incredible has to happen. I'm ready for it to happen, but not all that hopeful. As was pointed out, however, should the Oilers pull this off, Joe Sakic will die before he sees the Flames beat them on Sunday. Why am I still nervous about everything? It's over, right? Damnit.

I've heard (and I can't remember the article) that the Bruins are going to keep the same defensive corps that they have now for next year. This would be fine, except for two things: something with the defense is off, as they suck, and we have some prospects that seem primed for recall. I haven't seen much of them, but from what I hear it's about time that Mark Stuart and Matt Lashoff should get some big league time. As far as I'm concerned, it'd be better to do this sooner rather than later. If they can get time from the start of the season on, they'll be at least mildly trustworthy should the Bruins make the playoffs. Of course they'll be given a fair shot in training camp, but that's the way the Bruins should be leaning.

In other Bruins news, there's actually an article about Andrew Ference and his bike-riding ways. Apparently he's into saving the environment. My favorite part is that, in an article that paints him as a devoted, conscious, caring individual, he cites "If somebody slashes you, you slash them back twice as hard" as one of his most valuable lessons learned. Granted, it was about gaining respect, but it's still something I love about hockey.

Partially unrelated note: I've noticed that a lot of arenas are playing "Shipping Up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys as their pump-up song. Unless they're planning on shipping the Bruins a few good players (which I'm entirely welcome to) they really have to stop that.

Completely unrelated note: I saw "Grindhouse" last night and absolutely loved it. Watching it, you can see just how much fun they had making those movies. It's not for everyone (I'm a Tarantino freak) and I'm sure it would have been better if I had any B-movie experience (especially for "Death Proof") but I still think everyone should go out and see it. Don't wait, either- it has to be seen in theaters.


Right now I'm eager to see the first-round matchups for the playoffs. As soon as that's solidified, I'll pick who I want to and think will win each round. The end of the season can't come soon enough.

Andrew Ference to Coach Bruins Next Year

Wicked Bruins Fan highlighted a Boston Herald article in which Andrew Ference suggests what we've all been thinking lately- Dave Lewis isn't coaching the Bruins right. This is a team that has all of the right components. Their defense and offense is talented and capable. Their goaltender isn't considered a star, but he's been the only good thing this year. Yet they suck, and in all the ways that leave the coach accountable. The Bruins have fallen apart in the third period, giving up leads and losing games too many times for it to be a coincidence. Lewis is supposed to be a defense-first coach (Brad Boyes even complained, once traded, that he had been held back by Lewis's coaching style), but the Bruins are one of the worst defensive teams in the league. They are 28th in the league in goals against, only ahead of Washington and Philadelphia. Tim Thomas can't be blamed for this. The B's have averaged 34 shots against per game, which is worse than both Washington and Philadelphia. Thomas is 34th in GAA, 21st in SV%, and 5th in total saves, and 3rd in saves/60 minutes. Clearly not superstar numbers, but anyone who watched Thomas this year
he's been the biggest victim of the Bruins' awful defensive play. Lewis' system doesn't work. I went to the painful Montreal game with Paula. Between dodging beer cups, cheering so loud for the hopeless Bruins that my voice is still partly gone, and trying to figure out if the section of Habs fans behind us was chanting in English or French, we noticed that the Bruins suck. More specifically, Paula pointed out, that they were poorly coached. She said that their dump-and-chase-only style of play was "like high school hockey" and that Lewis needed to be harder on them, which is the point Ference makes. He says that some players aren't working their hardest, and suggests that:

“Sometimes it takes calling people on it. . . . If it’s just leading by example, that’s great. But sometimes it takes a little harsher criticism and some brutal honesty.”

Nothing gives me less confidence in a coach than when a player says they aren't brutal enough. I would rather have players complain that the coach is a crazed Nazi who threatens their families when they don't play well than one that's too lax. If Lewis is a coach who stifles players' offensive abilities without holding them accountable so as to make a team captained by Zdeno Chara the 28th-best defensive team in the NHL, why is he still here? I don't know who would replace him, but I think at this point anyone might be better, though my mom's completely serious suggestion of Andy Brickley might not be the answer.

In other news, Tom Gilbert has given me a good idea about how to deal with this Oilers' season. Of all the teams to break their losing streak against, it had to be the Avs. I only caught part of the game, but of course it was the part in the second period where the Oilers tied up the score. The Avs got a point out of the game, but the knowledge that they only got a point against the Oilers might be more damaging to their psyche than anything else. I'm praying that they can recover from this without any further damage, and also for a Chicago win tomorrow, though I don't know if I see that happening when Calgary just beat Detroit and Nashville. There's nothing to do but wait and see at this point. The good news is that Marek Svatos scored (and might finally get put back with Arnason, which I'm convinced will help) and that the Avs still have Joe Sakic. With him there I give them the benefit of the doubt, but the outcome of tomorrow night's game against Vancouver is huge. Win, we're still in it. Lose...well, even Joe might have trouble helping them if they lose.

Pregaming and "Not Mentioning" the Playoff Push: Avs vs Oilers

To say that the Avs should win this game is an understatement. The Oilers are still missing Stoll, Moreau, Reasoner, Hemsky, Hejda, Gilbert, Roy, and Tjarnqvist. Steve Staios is out for the remainder of the season with a knee injury that's probably needed repair since it first happened in November. The only non-rookies on the blueline are Jason Smith and (technically) Matt Greene. It's barely even worth saying that this "winless streak" has happened for a reason. It's not bad luck. It's not something they're going to shake off and move on from. The Oilers aren't good enough, especially on defense. With scoring like the Avs have, of course they should win this game. It would be embarrassing if they didn't.

Even more than they should win this game, they have to win this game. It's almost stupid to look at the Oilers as a legitimate threat to spoil this for the Avs, but I've watched the Bruins struggle against Philadelphia enough to not dismiss anyone. Those games were the most soul-crushing, as they all but killed my belief in the B's. The Avs have to be able to win "easy" games like this, because if they don't, how are we supposed to believe that they can win any of their remaining games against legitimate teams? Or make the playoffs?

The Avs can't falter. They have ten games left. Calgary has nine. Looking at these games, there are three things the Avs have to do to make the playoffs:

1. Beat bad teams (Edmonton and Phoenix).
2. Fare at least as well as the Flames against good teams (Vancouver, Minnesota, Nashville).
   
3. Get enough points in their two head-to-head games against the Flames ("enough" depends on the other results).

One should be a given. If either team loses games they should win, it's going to put them in a tough position. The Avs, for instance, have one more easy game than the Flames- they play the Oilers twice and Phoenix once, while Calgary plays the Oilers and Chicago once each. If all else is equal and they win all of their easy games, the Avs can make up the remaining four points by sweeping the head-to-head games. If they lose even one of the easy games, they'll be in a tough position. Likewise, if they Flames lose one of those games (a little help here, Oilers?) then the Avs can overtake them with a sweep.

This is all going on the condition that the other games yield equal results, which most likely won't happen. The Avs play Vancouver three times, Minnesota, and Nashville. The Flames play Vancouver, Minnesota twice, Nashville, and San Jose. These are pretty even schedules, though Colorado has fared better against their opponents (8-5-2) than Calgary has (5-9-3). In fairness, Calgary has had the most success (3-1-2) against Minnesota, who they play twice, and the Avs haven't exactly dominated Vancouver, outscoring them 15-12 and posting a 3-2 record in five games. All in all, I'm not too concerned with the past, because it doesn't really matter if the Avs beat Nashville in November if they can't beat them now. They have an equal number of games against good teams, and as far as I'm concerned an equal opportunity to get points. The outcome of these games might be the most important factor of the three. Sure, the head-to-head games will affect the outcome, but they'll be meaningless if one team falls off a cliff and the other excels. There are four points that can change hands there, while any number of things can come of the games remaining against other teams.

So what's going to happen? I have no idea. None. I've looked everywhere and I can't figure out, logically, what should happen. I've looked at Avs stats, Flames stats, stats of all the teams they have to play, stats of the Avs and Flames vs these teams, stats of the Avs vs [team] vs the Flames vs [team]...still nothing. Honestly, it's been torturing me. The only edge I can find is that the Avs are playing well, have a game in hand, have a better record this season against these opponents, and are captained by a god. The Flames, though, are still six points up, starting Kipper, and don't have my luck going against them. I still get the sinking feeling that, now that I've written all this after swearing not to mention anything, and now that everyone's all excited, the Avs are going to lose to Phoenix or the Oilers, the Flames will go on a winning streak, and this will all be for nothing. But I have a little more faith in them than that. They're not the goddamn Bruins. They can reinforce that by beating the Oilers tonight.

I'm for the Bruins; but then, what do I know? I'm a bear. I suck the heads off of fish!

Uh...I was kind of right. Kind of. Sorry, I'm struggling to grasp this. Usually whatever I say will be important ends up being insignificant and whoever I say will play well then gets eaten by the zamboni. But the Bruins game went roughly as I expected, besides the fact that I said the Caps would win, which is meaningless because I'll always bet against the Bruins. Savvy (3 assists) and Patrice (goal and an assist) both played very well. Tim Thomas survived again, and made 31 saves to boot. The Bruins powerplay completely dominated the Caps, scoring all three goals with the man advantage (one was a 5-3). ChariWard was massively incompetent and Ovechkin embarrassed them plenty of times. I was surprised at how good he is. He's tenacious, extremely fast, tough, has good vision, and wants the puck more than anyone else on the ice. I was at a game against the Caps in November, and remember being very unimpressed with Ovechkin. I couldn't even tell when he was on the ice. Curious, I went back and checked to see who they had matched up against him then. They had Axelsson healthy, which makes a difference, but that was also during the timespan when they had Andrew Alberts paired up with Chara, and those two were out with Ovechkin on every shift. This got me thinking- why didn't they have Alberts facing Ovechkin a little more? The reason Chara kept getting brutally owned was because Alex would fly by him to the outside or catch the big guy in transition. Despite being 6-4, Alberts is a very good skater with pretty quick feet. I'm not saying he could beat Ovechkin in a foot race, but I doubt he'd look as bad against him as Chara did. I've also gotten over the weird dynamics between Alberts and Ference on the ice, because I realized it makes sense to send Ference flying around to get the puck and make breakout passes while Alberts stands in front of the net and punishes people. Yes, I'm rationalizing because I like Alberts. But it does make sense.

There were two things I thought about mentioning in my pregame, but decided against because I figured they'd be irrelevant. The first was that Kolzig has the ability to play fantastic, and that the Bruins have bad enough luck to catch him on a good day. Since he was returning from injury, I counted this out, but shouldn't have. He single-handedly fought off the Bruins through the first two periods, letting in the first goal with a minute and a half left in the second. Overall, he only allowed powerplay goals. The other thing was that if the Bruins could only get to OT, they'd probably win. While both teams had a 4-2 record in OT, the Bruins were 8-3 in shootouts while the Caps were 1-10. Again I figured it wasn't worth mentioning, but the game did end up going into a shooutout, and the Bruins won thanks to goals from Patrice and Phil Kessel. Kessel hasn't produced much in the last few games, but he's been great and helped get Savvy going again. I've always believed that energy is contagious, and because of this putting Kessel with Savvy is genius. He flies around, forechecks hard, and creates turnovers. Every time he works hard and makes something happen, you can see Savvy and Kobasew pick it up as well. Their line has been electric lately, and I credit Kessel with that.

The Oilers surprised me, only losing 2-1 to Minnesota, though I suspect it had more to do with Minnesota not playing well than the Oilers being legitimate. They hustled, of course, but they really just don't have NHL players. Their only goal scorer was Robert Nilsson, called up due to "emergency conditions". I'm pretty sure that once everyone, or most everyone, gets healthy again, then they'll break the losing streak against some crappy team. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) that won't be for a while. I've gotten over it. At first I was horrified by the losing, but now my expectations are so low that I'm pleased whenever they get a shot, which really makes the games more enjoyable. Screw standards. I can't afford those when a 21-year-old Czech kid is leading the team in ice time (no offense, Laddy).

Quick notes

• The Bruins just finished playing ex-B Milan Jurcina, and now they move onto New York where they play ex-B Michael Nylander. Nylander was one of those rare players that came into Boston and played above our expectations. He was basically the Bruins' version of Orlando Cabrera, except that the Bruins didn't win. That's the Bruins' version of everything. I'm giving this game to the Rangers.
  
• The one encouraging thing I would look at in the Bruins' play last game, if I were still concerned with the playoffs, would be that they sucked for the first two periods, to the point where you could hear the crowd grumble and Andy Brickley had to admit, "The natives are getting a little restless here as they're a bit disappointed...well, no, not a bit. A lot disappointed in the way things are going so far." Everyone expected them to continue to suck, but they came back out and tied the score before two minutes had elapsed in the third. They usually don't do that.
  
• The Oilers play the Blue tonight. I find that the more I watch, the more I'm rooting for them in the "race to the bottom", too. I would have a hard time with doing that if I recognized any players on the ice, but without half the roster (especially Horc) it's pretty easy. Still, maybe they could score a few goals to make themselves feel better? Or make me feel better? Or because that's the objective in hockey? Anyway, this game goes to the Blues.
  
• The Avs play Phoenix tonight. Thank god. Besides the Bruins and Oilers, I'm wicked stressed out about college stuff. I got a couple of acceptances back from schools, but none of my top choices yet. I've never been so nervous in my life. If there's one thing that will always calm me down and make me happy, it's Joe Sakic. The rest of the Avs are just a nice little bonus (though I'd love to have Marek and Karlis back, as they make me happy, too). What the hell- I'm saying the Avs will win.
  
• Despite rocking my green shirt, green rings, green bracelets, green nano, green coffee mug, and green purse, it's not the most festive of days because of the snow that randomly hit. Two days ago I was wearing a t-shirt; this morning I was shoveling, and now there's too much snow to run outside so I'm forced to go to the gym (which I hate). Bluh.
  
• On another completely irrelevant note, I saw "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" last night and loved it. It was ridiculous in the most entertaining way, sort of like "The Boondock Saints". Except where "The Boondock Saints" was serious, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" was hilarious. I forgot how much I loved watching movies- I used to do it a lot more. Anyway, I highly recommend it.

Pregaming: B's vs Caps

The Bruins should beat the Capitals tonight, but this in no way means they will. There seems to be almost no correlation between how good their opponent is and how well they fare. It's not that they always lose to bad teams and always beat good teams, because that would be a pattern. The Bruins strive to be an enigma, and they succeed wildly. They just don't make sense.

But, though it gives me a horrible feeling to say it, they really, really should beat the Capitals, for a number of reasons, such as...

1. Both Patrice and Savvy are playing well. Especially in Savvy's case, the team only plays well when they do. They tend to take turns being good, so to have them both going at once is a huge boost for the offense. They're both players who create success for their linemates, meaning even without Glen Murray the Bruins can have two solid lines.
2. Tim Thomas hasn't died off yet, despite our defense's best efforts.
3. Speaking of the de, the Alberts/Ference tandem has played well. They have their limitations, but they've been the closest thing to consistent on the Boston blue line. Also, Wideman doesn't suck. All positive for the B's.
4. As mediocre as the Bruins have played recently, the Caps have played much worse. They're on an 8-game losing streak. That's Oilers-bad.
   
5. The Caps are better than LA on the road. That's it. Even the Flames have a better road record.
   
6. The Bruins have an overall special teams advantage. Their 11th-ranked powerplay should be able to score on the Caps' 21st-ranked kill, and their 16th-ranked kill should be able to stop the Caps' 20th-ranked powerplay.
7. The Caps are one of three teams who are actually worse defensively than the Bruins.
   
8. It's Kolzig's first game since returning from a knee injury.
   

Of course, there are always reasons why the Bruins can lose, too.

1. They'll send out Chara and Ward to fend off Alex Ovechkin, and that won't work. Those two have been awful lately. Paula has started calling them "ChariWard" (like the pokemon thing named "Charizard") as they are "a huge firebreathing dragon of failure".
2. PJ Axelsson won't be there to help them out on defense as his wrist is broken.
3. Even though the Bruins allow fewer goals, the two teams have almost identical shots for/against numbers. This can be a good thing if the B's decide to tip the scale in their favor (they're 14-6-2 when outshooting their opponents) but there's no reason to think that they'll do that. They've been outshot twice as many times as they themselves have outshot their opponent.
   

So basically, they have a lot working to their advantage, but one very important thing working against them: they're the Bruins. I'm giving this one to the Caps.

Way out west, it's a different story. There's not really a good reason that the Oilers should beat the Wild. Not only do the Oilers have their own 8-game losing streak, but Minnesota has gone 5-1-2 in their last 8. Not only are the Oilers almost completely depleted of players who have all four limbs working, but Minnesota is only missing Wes Walz. Not only have nearly all the Oilers players struggled recently, but the right players are getting hot for Minnesota. I see almost no reason to even watch the game. I'm going to, of course, but there's no good reason.

Oh well. St. Patrick's Day is in two days, meaning I'll forget all of this very soon. Liz wants me to go to Southie with her to celebrate, but I don't want to die, so I'm staying in Winchester with Eliza. This holiday was made for us two. I mean, Eliza Mac and Katie O'D, the Bostonians who can put on a wicked Irish accent? Psh. We own St. Paddy's Day, though I'm guessing that we'll be sick of the accents before the day is done. Again, oh well.

Stanley's Cup

It's really bad that I keep getting flashbacks to this whenever I watch the Oilers play. Even tonight, when they only lost 3-0 (WITH an empty netter), I still looked at the Sharks and their fans cheering and thought, "Come on, guys. You're playing against peewees here."

Since I've Been Loving You

Going into today's game against the Flyers, the Bruins were 6 points out of a playoff spot, with 2 games in hand on Carolina. This was a more desperate situation than they've been in lately, even more so because they're playing Detroit tomorrow afternoon. Going by the numbers, it would have been reasonable to say that if they Bruins didn't win this game, they'd have a tough time making the playoffs. I didn't go by the numbers, but before the game I told myself that if they didn't beat the Flyers outright today, I would have to stop believing that they have a chance of making the playoffs. It wasn't because getting one or no points makes the playoffs impossible, but more because if they can't beat Philadelphia when they're in dire need of the points, there's nothing to make me think that they can win enough to catch any current playoff team. They had to win this game to keep my faith.

And they didn't. The Bruins lost to the Flyers, and not even in overtime. Moreover, they got beaten by the Flyers. They sucked. Sure, there were some positives. Patrice was noticeable on a few plays after being invisible since he came back from injury. Wideman wasn't useless for the whole game and actually scored a goal. Jeremy Reich absolutely clobbered Darren Reid in their fight. Savvy decided to care again and, having a little chemistry with Kessel and Bochenski, played a good game. But this isn't the beginning of the year anymore, and it's not good enough to have some positive things going on if we're still losing to the Flyers in regulation. Overall, they didn't play well enough to win when they really needed to. Most of the Bruins were useless today, and even those that were good at times were useless more often than not. Outside of the Savvy-Kessel-Bochenski line, the forwards got very little going offensively. The de couldn't keep anyone in check on the other end of the ice, except maybe Ference and Alberts, who still weren't anywhere near perfect. Chara and Ward are supposed to be our shut-down line, but they were brutal. For a good example of how this game went, watch Mike Richards' game winning goal. Chara skated the puck out from behind our net and, with two Flyers nearby, lost an edge and went crashing down to the ice. Dmitry Afanasenkov came up with the puck and skated in on Ward with Richards. In a 2-1 close to the net, Ward did exactly what he shouldn't have done- he left his feet. Afanasenkov took an extra stride or two and simply passed around Ward's helpless body to Richards, who took a whack at it and forced Joey MacDonald to make a great save. But Bochenski (putting in a good effort to get back on such short notice) accidentally knocked the puck in the net, putting the Flyers up for good. At this point I had to leave the room to watch the game alone, after muttering things like "Ward never sucked this much for Carolina" and "If they lose this game I'm going to start killing people". Keep in mind this was before the Bruins gave up a shorthanded goal to Scottie Upshall. You don't want to know what kind of things I said after that.

After the shortie, NESN went to commercial saying, "...as Scottie Upshall tries to stick a dagger in their hearts." I thought, after I finished twitching, that it was a good analogy. Upshall metaphorically stabbed us, and for the rest of the game we were metaphorically bleeding to death. This is what it feels like to be a Bruins fan. Actually, it's also a good representation of what it feels like to be an Oilers fan right now, except that the Bruins keep dragging me back in and refusing to let me die. With the Oilers right now we're just waiting for the end to come. At least with the Avs I'm still in a good place. With the current winning streak, everyone's suddenly speculating about them making the playoffs, but I stubbornly refuse to. I'm happy right now. They're winning and playing well and I'm enjoying every second of it (except when it was against the Bruins). I don't want to start stressing out and counting points and filling up pieces of paper with reasons why they might possibly maybe make the playoffs if everyone else starts to suck. Come on; they're 8 points back of Calgary and have played one more game. I'm not being pessimistic when I say that it's a tough hill to climb. The Oilers might not win another game this year and the Bruins are trying to kill me. Is it too much to ask for a stress-freeteam that actually wins games? They score goals, which I've already explained makes me happy. On one end, they have Joe Sakic, who is maybe as close to perfect as they come. On the other end, they've got a great group of young talent coming along, from the rookie tandem of Paul Stastny and Wojtek Wolski to the slightly older Marek Svatos (humor me- he'll return) and J-M Liles. The B's and Oilers are going to make me lose my worried mind. The Avs I thank for keeping me sane.

Quick notes

• In addition to being stabbed in the heart and slowly bleeding to death, being an Oilers fan is apparently also like watching the innards being squeezed out of a live caterpillar. This fanbase needs Prozac.
  
• Paula came with Liz and I to the Bruins/Avs game and sat with us in one of the few extra seats (front row- how pathetic). I pointed out Milan Hejduk and told her that he was the one I'd had the dream about. Her, Liz, and the woman next to them agreed that he actually was kinda cute, which freaked me out.
  
• I missed the Oilers game last night because I was out and "didn't care". I still checked the score on my phone until it got to be 4-0 Anaheim. Then I did stop. I don't know if there's a point where I'll stop watching the games. Maybe when they have to forfeit because the only defensemen left are Jason Smith and Laddy Smid? The de situation reminds me of the episode of "Pete and Pete" when the older Pete joins the wrestling team and is forced to actually wrestle when every other person on the team is killed off. I have no idea how I remember that.
  
• While giving a presentation on Dante's Inferno to my English class, I accidentally pronounced the name "Simon Magus" like "Seemon Magus". Eliza asked if I had done it to sound like "semen" and make Skinder feel awkward, but I told her I had actually been thinking of Simon Gagne. She seemed disappointed, but not surprised.
  
• When at the Avs game with her and Liz, we each got the attention of a different person. Liz waved wildly at Petr Tenkrat while he was stretching, and got him to keep looking over and smiling amusedly. Paula (according to her) made eye contact with Zdeno Chara, whom she has dreams about. She can't figure out why; he's her Milan Hejduk. I got the attention of the Bruins mascot Blades, who is, outside of Daniel Briere, my sworn enemy. As he walked by I took a picture, and he started pointing and waving at me, giving me a mild panic attack. Due to him and Wally the Green Monster, I just really hate mascots.
  

Would you want that thing waving at you?

Update: The Bruins beat Detroit. I was asleep for the first two periods, but according to NBC, they played with a lot of desperation. From what I saw and read, Patrice was finally on today, getting a goal and an assist. Savvy still played with some fire, but today it paid off, getting him 3 assists. Tim Thomas was again fantastic, stopping 35 of 38 shots. I still don't care. My faith in them was killed yesterday. Goddamn Bruins.

Doyle's Law

I was going to devote this entire post to bitching about the Columbus announcers, but luckily slept on the idea and decided against it. In my defense, they made it nearly impossible to enjoy a good Oilers' win. They spent the entire game repeating that the Vyborny goal should have counted (even on their replays you could see his stick was high), that people have been taking liberties with Rick Nash all season and he's had enough (even though Thoreson barely touched him), that they couldn't believe Hainsey got an extra minor for defending Nash (though they didn't have a problem with Roy's misconduct defending Gilbert), that these teams were battling for not only points but for pride (?), that Stortini had been headhunting all night long and Shelley was just fed up with him (Zach had one clean hit, while Shelley got a misconduct for his unnecessary stupidity), that players could get hurt by some of the hits the Oilers were dishing (again no mention of Gilbert), and that in addition to Ethan Moreau and Fernando Pisani, Jarret Staal is also out for the Oilers. I was pretty much ready to kill them. They were overdramatic, insanely biased, and the only time they mentioned anything about Gilbert was to tell us he had a concussion. They called him "Matthew".

They couldn't entirely kill my happiness, despite their best efforts. I'll always be happy watching a game where Horc and Smytty get three points each, Raffi shows some dangling skills, Joffrey actually tries, and my lover Laddy Smid scores. Most impressive was the way that Raffi and Lupul owned the ice together. I mistook both of them for Ales at different times because they were destroying the Jackets de so handily (Lupul especially at one point, where he ruined the defenders, drove to the net, and passed it away). Even if Pouliot didn't have his best game, I like him on that line. In some weird way, it seems like he helped those two get going. A few games ago Pouliot was busting his ass, playing very physically and energetically, and Raffi was gliding. Since then Raffi's picked up the pace, and now Lupul was really working last night. Energy is contagious. I get the feeling that this is a major reason why Tyler Arnason started flying. Playing with Brett McLean and especially Lappy will put a jump in your step. Also, he's the most skilled player on the line, so they know enough to get the puck to him when they can. I noticed this last night when they switched the lines up. Arnason was on a line with McLean and Ben Guite. They were all in pretty close quarters around the net, but McLean made a desperate effort to push the puck to Arnason, even though Guite may have been closer. I don't hate this.

I did hate that the Avs switched things up so much with the forwards, though they came close enough to winning to justify it. They had 7 de and 11 forwards, apparently because they would mostly be running 3 lines at this point in the season (according to my Altitude buddies). What ended up happening was that they sent out a completely random assortment of 11 forwards in a pretty steady stream. While this was maybe even more confusing for the players than it was for me, what it did do was keep the forwards fresh, enabling them to attempt a 3rd period comeback despite going in down 3-0. With the Avs 3rd period play this year being so questionable, I never expected them to come as close as they did, even after Ken Klee got the first goal. They didn't draw me back in until Brad Richardson scored and they completely took over the game. Even when Finger broke his stick and the Wild came down and scored I wasn't out of it, and rightly so. The next goal* confirmed that they weren't done, and made the end of the game all the more heartbreaking, with the Avs losing 4-3. The game was heartbreaking in every way that the 2004 ALCS vs the Yankees wasn't. When the Sox went down 3-0 in the series, much like when the Avs went down 3-0 in the game, I convinced myself not to get my hopes up. After Game 4 (the Klee goal) I was still cautious. Game 5 (the Richardson goal) made me a complete emotional wreck. I broke down and cried at least 3 different times during Game 5, once because Curtis Leskanic was warming up in the bullpen and, as he had been used a lot lately, the announcers said his arm was "hanging on by a thread". I don't know who he is anymore, but at the time he was clearly very tragic. That's where the comparison ends. After Game 5, I knew the Sox were going to win and wasn't worried or crazy anymore. The Avs spent the rest of the game in Game 5 limbo, not near enough to a win to be certain but not near enough to a loss to be hopeless. Luckily, I didn't have an emotional breakdown during this one, but the loss was still painful.
*MAREK SVATOS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE BACK. I'm not getting my hopes up too much (lie), but that goal last night was not only his second in two games but a Marek Svatos goal. He got it and buried it, despite not having much to shoot at. That was him last year, and the reason why I'm so enthusiastic right now. I really do miss having the Real Marek Svatos around. Despite having an awful year, he's still one of my favorite players and I still have faith that he can come back. I've got Paula hooked on him now. She kept insisting that everyone from Slovakia, including the women, looks like Zdeno Chara and Milan Jurcina ("very tall and dark haired with large noses and awkward facial expressions"). I used Marek as proof against her, and upon looking up pictures of him she agreed that he's very sexy but "definitely has a Slovakian adam's apple...they all stick out their necks and have adam's apples". I don't really know what to do with her.

If I want to remember something when I'm watching a game, I'll jot it down somewhere. This morning I realized that I wrote down some weird things. I'm blaming this on the fact that we were getting some carpets put down and the fumes started to get to me. Some from the Oilers game:
-put Ales through electroshock therapy to make him shoot
-announcers just went 5 minutes without a verb
-RAFFI FUCK YEAH
-even stupid Columbus announcers figured out powerplay
-oil finally getting physical, killing bitches
-Ales just "bitch pleased" someone
From the Avs game:
-23-26 on pk together, wedding next week
-Marek on powerplay MAREK ON POWERPLAY
-Marek w/a hit, love it when he plays rough
-40 w/19-15 HE DID HIS FOOT THING I'm happy
-Marek doing something I'm in pain from the excitement, actually
Almost everything I wrote was either about Marek Svatos or hurting the Blue Jackets and their announcers. Anger at Columbus+obsession with Marek Svatos+carpet fumes=some really strange and discomforting notes.

Quick notes

• I'm extremely upset to see Gilbert go down. Is there any timetable on his return? He was playing well and this time is pretty valuable to his development. Also, now we have to dress Matt Green again. This isn't awful, I guess, but I'd really, really, really rather have Gilbert there, if not just to get a better idea of what he can do.
  
• Does Zach Stortini have a catchy nickname yet? It doesn't feel right to just call him "Zach", but his last name is hard to get anything good from ("Storts", for instance, sounds like an STD).
• There are't any people on the Avs as random as Paul Mara, and I credit Altitude with this. They're starting to freak me out with how much they're in tune with what I'm thinking. For example, this past game they specifically explained what Brad May brought to the Stastny-Hejduk line (toughness, giving them room) and noted the success those two have had since he joined the line. In addition to toughness, I noticed that he's usually the one to go deep in the defensive zone and feed them the puck. So yes, he's the third wheel, but an effective one.
  
• J-M Liles is up to 17 minutes of ice time, which is still low but definitely comforting.
  
• There was a hilarious moment when Smytty lost his stick and the ice-level Columbus announcer tried to jokingly give him one they had there. Smytty was thoroughly not amused by this, making me love him even more.
• Carolina just acquired Anson Carter for a 5th round draft pick. If he plays well, this could really hurt the Bruins, who are trying to catch the Hurricanes for that last playoff spot. They're now 7 points out with 4 games in hand. If Carolina should pick things up, hopefully Montreal (8 points up of the Bruins, who have 4 in hand) will drop off again.
  
• Tonight I'm having an Ed Norton marathon with my friend Eliza. We're watching The Illusionist, 25th Hour, Primal Fear, and American History X. The only one I haven't seen is The Illusionist- any reviews? I trust anything with Ed Norton in it but I want to make sure it's worthy. We're taking this very seriously and only allowing two other people (at most) to join us. We might even interview them for a spot. I'm not kidding.
  

The Middle Child

Out of my three teams, lately the Avs have become the forgotten middle child, with the Bruins being the delinquent oldest and the Oilers being the youngest in need of constant supervision. The Avs have played neither well enough nor poorly enough to get my attention, and their games have been at times when I'm more likely to miss them. That being said, there's no way I'm going to forget about them. I sympathize with them, being in the middle of two completely psychotic sisters myself. Tonight, I made sure that I gave them my undivided attention. It helped that their game started later than the Oilers (7:00) and Bruins (7:30), who had to fight for time, but with a 7-5 win over Calgary, it wasn't a game to be missed anyway.
For the convenience of browsers, I've sectioned off the games a bit.

The Avs
The Avs proved me wrong throughout the entire game, in good and annoying ways. For instance, before the game I noted that the Avs were the most consistent in the set of forwards they used every night. Just then the Altitude announcers informed me that Marek Svatos was a healthy scratch for the second night in a row, not only proving me wrong but also breaking my heart. I miss the real Marek Svatos. Later, I tried again and remarked that the Avs had the most stable line combinations (Sakic-Brunette-Wolski, Stastny-Hejduk-who cares, Arnason-McLean-Laperierre, the fourth). Brunette then scored a goal while Brad Richardson took Wojtek Wolski's place on their line. After that I realized that I had no idea what was going on in the game and should stop trying before I hurt myself. Peter Budaj was pulled for Jose Theodore after he let in four Calgary goals that weren't really his fault, but weren't completely impossible to save. The Avs had my luck working against them. As was pointed out during the game, Calgary scored most of their goals when the momentum was on Colorado's side, making them even more back-breaking. It was one of those extremely tiring games that's devastating to lose and exhilirating to win, and therefore really hard to talk about afterwards. I will say that the Avs forwards are an impressive bunch when they play to their potential. The Sakic-Brunette-Wolski tandem is consistently good, though Sakic would be consistently good if his linemates were PJ Stock and our pet rabbit Snickers. Though they're not nearly as prolific, I'm also a big fan of the third line, mostly because it hinges on Tyler Arnason. Lappy and McLean always do the best they can, meaning the line is only as good as Arnason is that night. Recently, it's been pretty good, because when he's working hard Arnason is really fun to watch.

The best foward of the night, however, was Milan Hejduk, who has played better than his numbers this year show. Milan owned this game, and not just because he had a hat trick. If you watch any one of his goals, you can see that he was a step ahead of the game all night long. It was clearest on his second goal, where he banked the shot in off of Kiprusoff from behind the goal line. It appeared to be a lucky bounce, but when they replayed the goal in slow motion, I saw Milan pick up his head, see where Kiprusoff was, and shoot it at exactly the angle to bounce in. They played it again at regular speed and, like before, it just seemed lucky. Milan was seeing the game in slow motion, which is why he was able to score on 3 of his team-high 9 shots. He's frequented the Avs' penalty killing squad, too, which in the beginning of the year weirded me out, but makes perfect sense after last night. Milan may be known for his fine-tuned offensive skills, but he's a very smart player who understands hockey well. How can it possibly be harder to notice the opposing de cheating for a one-timer than it is to notice Kiprusoff cheating off the post? That being said, the Avs have the 22nd best penalty kill in the league, making it hard to praise too much.
Strange dream from a few weeks ago that's vaguely relevant: I was at a party at my friend's house, and hooked up with this kid I know. Then Milan Hejduk showed up. I've never found him very attractive before, but all of a sudden I did. So I hooked up with him, too. I woke up and thought, "Wow, this is great! I finally find Milan Hejduk attractive! Wait...no. No, I still don't. Dang."

The Bruins
My three teams each had a different outcome, and of course the Bruins were the losers. Not having Patrice Bergeron in the lineup due to a typical late-season "lower-body injury" hurt the B's more than most people realized. Confident and surprisingly strong, Patrice is one of the better puck posession forwards that the Bruins have, and without him the rest of the team was throwing the puck around with no real plan. Savard did his best to step up his already stellar game, assisting on Murray's lone Bruins goal, but he doesn't play the same sort of game that Patrice does. With a little bit of space and a target (whether it be pass or shot), Savard is deadly, but he doesn't create space for himself as well as Patrice. He also could have been thrown off by the "line combinations", which ended up just being Boyes and him at center, with Bochenski, Murray, Axelsson, Kessel, Sturm, Tenkrat, and Chistov cycling on the wings. There were minor variations (occasionally Kessel at center, sometimes Donovan and Mowers would appear) but for the most part it was a steady stream of chaos. Things with the Bruins have gotten so bad that I don't even know what they're attempting to do anymore. Take the Sillinger goal, for instance, when he walked right in without a Bruin near him. He was actually so open that I couldn't tell which Bruin should have been responsible for him. Murray was in no man's land and appeared to be closest, but Mara was standing in front of Tim Thomas like the motionless pillar of ineptitude that he is and Chara was somewhere by the other faceoff dot, contemplating his escape route back to Slovakia. I give up.

The Oilers
For the Oilers to get only one point out of the Buffalo game sucked, but I can't argue too strongly that they definitely deserved another. They outplayed Buffalo for the most part, and especially early on, but the amount of legitimately good scoring chances had to be about equal. The Oilers would control play for a decent amount of time, then Buffalo would come down and get a point-blank chance, mostly denied by a very sharp Roli. After a few runs through this cycle I realized that Buffalo (mainly the Afinogenov-Vanek-Roy line) was having its way with both the fourth line and the scary de pairing of MAB and Greene. All night long the Sabres were busting through those two, eventually leading to the goal scored by Afinogenov (who, despite his awesome name, I'm starting to hate). The rest of the de, minus a few Hejda blunders, played surprisingly well, mostly because they were very agressive. They held the line, closed the gap in the neutral zone, and skated the puck deep on the few occasions when they could. One could argue that while the Sabres were flat to start out with, they were also held at bay early on by pretty good defense. Jason Smith in particular showed his worth in a game like this. He's not the best player by many measures, but to me there are no sweeter words than, "OUCH. Daniel Briere just got hammered by Smith! His pale, sickly-looking ass isn't getting up off the ice any time soon!" Maybe no announcer has said that exactly, but after that OT goal I have to keep hope. With most of the de doing their job, the Sabres were forced to score their only goals first on MAB/Greene, then on Toby Petersen. That's one potent Buffalo offense!

Then again, I'm just speaking out of bitter hatred. Like the Sabres, the Oilers only had one line really going for them- though they were REALLY going. Horc, Smytty, and Hemsky were so powerful that, save for the occasional "this line can be dangerous" muttering, they silenced the Buffalo announcers when they were on the ice. Considering the announcers, though, this might not be that great of a feat. These are the same guys who suggested that Edmonton really misses the veteran leadership of Sergei Samsonov. They kept making mistakes without any attempts at correcting themselves, almost as if they knew that no one in their audience would notice. A surefire giveaway that announcers are useless is if they pronounce names wrong. Very good announcers know how to pronounce most players' names out of familiarity, and I suspect that if they don't know then they make an effort to find out. Pronouncing Smid's name as it's spelled rather than "Schmeed" is understandable, as is (to a lesser extent) calling Pouliot "Poulio", but both could have been avoided with any sort of effort. In addition to a minor mispronounciation of the vowell-happy Staios, somehow Horc's name turned into "Horcrot". To give them credit, they moved closer to his actual name as the game went on (Horcrot, then Horcroft, then Horcroff), and if the game had only gone into a shootout, they just might've gotten there. This is a pointless rant, but an extreme pet peeve. For some reason, the most annoying thing an announcer can do is mispronounce names and call Jarret Stoll "Jarret Staal" for the whole game.

I guess one good thing about watching the opposition's station is that it's easier to analyze the game without bias. Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley, the Bruins' guys, are constantly worrying about placating the insane Boston fans. For the past two games they've done nothing but rabidly praise Ference out of fear that B's fans will tear his newly-added hide to pieces. If they were objective, they'd tell us that he hasn't played badly, but is a little nervous in his new city, which you can't fault him on. For the first few games he's rushed passes and looked a tiny bit twitchy. Wouldn't it be better to just acknowledge this and move on, rather than repeatedly pointing out what a beautiful skating stride he has? Better than either of the other options, the Avs' Altitude manages to capture how I'm feeling perfectly, mostly because the announcers seem to be what I am- in love with the team. They're ecstatic when the Avs score, despondent when they're scored on, and in awe of Joe Sakic. They understand the significance of certain players scoring or playing well. In some strange way, it's like watching the game with friends. This is the something like the newfound familiarity I feel with Ladislav Smid, but not nearly as creepy.

Quick notes

• Zach Stortini looks like a dirty hobo that you'd be afraid to walk by on the street for fear of contracting diseases, but somehow his proud, toothless grin after the fight was adorably endearing. Somehow.
  
• Raffi played a terrible game. He wasn't skating at all. Even the Buffalo announcers picked up on it when he made a beautiful breakout pass to Daniel Briere. You could see MacT complimenting it on the bench. I think the Oilers need to hire someone to follow Raffi around and piss him off so he plays with a little more anger. His linemates, Pouliot and Thoreson, would agree, though it would end up being costly for Edmonton as these "Raffi Provokers" would need pretty frequent replacement (and medical benefits).
  
• Despite this fact not being mentioned by my buddies at Altitude, J-M Liles had one shift in the third period and just over eight minutes of ice time overall. Why do I keep looking these things up?
  
• After way too much thought, I've figured out that the NHL equivalent of me is Brett Clark. This is pretty objective and fair, seeing as I've pegged other teammates of mine as J-M Liles, Rob Blake, and Peter Forsberg. And yes, my entire team has played for the Avs at one point in their career. It's great. We even have a Dan Hinote.
• Looking back, I'm not sure I really would have murdered my English teacher. Then again, I'm not sure that I wouldn't have. But I took the last post down anyway. Summary (factually altered for length): I skipped a class. Instead of giving me a cut card, my English teacher tried to keep me from playing in the last game of the season, but failed. Before he failed I swore I would kill him, and was serious. For the record, even though I skipped half a day of school and got myself in a ton of trouble, my parents are completely on my side and my dad also swore to kill Skinder.
  
• "Kill Skinder" would make a great movie title, especially if that movie were a documentary.
  
• I'm pretty sure I don't come off this bitter in person.
  

Snow Day

I finally saw the Bruins play well in person...against the Oilers. I could see this coming from a mile away, seeing as I've got the worst luck in the world for hockey teams. One playoffs a few years ago, out of every team I wanted to win, in every series from the first to the last, my teams won twice. I had picked a team in just about every series, too. It was bad, so this isn't very surprising. My dad remarked after the game that the Oilers looked flat. I'm not sure if a team can be completely flat if the opposing goalie got 32 shots and a first star selection, but they weren't really on top of their game. After Raffi got a good scoring chance from Horc in the second period, I remember thinking that it was the first chance they got that made the Bruins fans really cheer for Tim Thomas. There were shots and chances, but the Bruins simply got more. Patrice and his line played well and took advantage of the Oilers' de throughout the whole game, getting themselves two goals, an empty netter, and a goal that was called back because of an interference call on Bochenski. Bochenski has been awesome since he came to the Bruins, though I've really only noticed him when he's scoring. I've heard that the reason he was never successful was because he's horrible defensively. That issue hasn't come up yet, but give it enough time and I'm sure it will.

Looking back, the Oilers' game was far from perfect. Horc alone had a few puzzling defensive zone turnovers that turned into scoring chances, and though I don't remember if he caused any of the goals, he was out there for all of them. In his defense, one was a 5-on-3 and the other was a powerplay (and the other was an empty net), but still, he needed to move the puck faster. Both teams had clearly studied the other's power play, because the Oilers had someone shadowing Marc Savard and the Bruins took away the points. While the Bruins adjusted to this, the Oilers kept forcing the puck to the points and ended up giving it away way too many times. This would have been a little more understandable if it were Jarret Stoll they were forcing it to, but it wasn't. It was Toby Petersen. I know the guy works hard and has earned the minutes he's gotten (with help from injury), but he's not the type to be forcing the puck to. They made the B's mediocre penalty kill look amazing. Some of the best chances the Oilers have gotten recently have come from Horc and Smytty battling low for the puck- why not cycle it to them instead of forcing it back? The Oilers were winning the puck in the corners all night long, inciting Bruins fans around me to scream at our de, "Use your body! Come on! Get the puck! Jesus!" Working it down low would also pull the opposing forwards down lower, making the point shot a better option. All night Petersen and Sykora were way too high to get off an effective shot, and they were only getting forced out higher as the Bruins figured out that they were the entire basis of the power play. And if Simpson still isn't convinced, then he can at least concede that it's harder for the other team to clear the puck from the corner than it is from 10 feet inside the blue line, where they were intercepting passes all night long.

Was there any reason why the line of Pouliot- Torres- Throreson got broken up? They were the only physical presence on the ice in the first period. On one shift, all three of them took down a Bruin to get the puck deep in the offensive zone. They also got themselves some chances. With all the talk about his most recent call-up, I decided to watch Pouliot, and he was playing well, I thought. If they wanted to do something with the lines, they shouldn't have demoted him to the fourth line. Couldn't they have had him center Torres and Lupul instead of Nedved? This would have made vastly more sense. Even when Pouliot was on the fourth line, playing minutes late in the third, he was creating chances and working hard.
[One thing about Nedved- when warming up for the second period, he was skating up and down the boards next to the bench, in what was the Bruins zone that period. Savard skated by him and gave him a look, causing him to retreat closer to the Oilers' bench. Once Savard left, he skated down again and pretended he was taking a shot on Thomas from the half-boards. It reminded me of a little kid pretending he's an airplane or something. Did Nedved even have any shots?]

Before the third period started, Liz was texting her friend Kyle, who asked her if I was there to see my hero, Ryan Smyth. He was sitting right near the Oilers' bench and said that there were seats nearby, so Paula and I moved over. The seats were maybe ten rows back from the glass, but right next to the runway, so we were only a couple of feet away from the Oilers as they walked onto the ice. Paula, Kyle, and his girlfriend McKenzie all laughed at me after Smytty passed, as instead of breathing I let out little squeaks. It was a pretty depressing period for the Oilers, but absolutely hilarious for me. Paula was freaking out more than I was and kept asking me about all of the players. When she saw MAB, she squealed, "Oh my god! They have a Bergeron, too?" Kyle told us that they were cousins (true?) and Paula yelled to him, "Hey, Bergeron! OUR BERGERON IS BETTER!" He turned slightly and she said, "They definitely are related! Look at the nose! That's a Bergeron Nose! He's got a schnozz and a half!" Even funnier than that was her interaction with Ladislav Smid. She thought his name was funny and started yelling, "Smid! Smid!" (pronounced like it's spelled). I corrected her and told her that it was pronounced "Schmeed", but he went on the ice before she could yell again. Just as he came off, however, there was a quiet moment and she shouted, "SCHMEEEEED!" as loud as she could. He looked right up a her with the most priceless face I've ever seen. It was a perplexed death-stare, as if he were saying "Why are you talking to me and what drugs are you on?" She quieted down, and even Kyle and McKenzie, who had been nervous with all the yelling, were amused. I now have no doubts that he'll be an amazing defenseman one day, and I might be in love.

Quick notes

• I have the same stick as Marty Reasoner- good or bad?
• On the topic of sticks, I saw Smytty's sticks up close. For a second I thought they were righty shots. Weirdly enough, the most curved stick I saw was Zach Stortini's. I assume that I missed something.
  
• When the Bruins put Chara in front of the net on the power play, I saw Jason Smith bounce off of him. Staios and him had no idea how to deal with big Z. If he didn't have such a good point shot, I'd say that they should put him there all the time.
  
• The Avs had a good win over Anaheim, though I didn't get to see much. From looking at the shift chart, it looks like they had a line of Paul Stastny, Milan Hejduk, and Brad May. I like Hejduk and Stastny together (so do they, with a goal apiece) but Brad May? I guess whatever works.
  
• The announcers mentioned that J-M Liles barely played in the third, and not at all in the second. I'm pretending they never said anything and that he's perfectly fine.
  
• Marek Svatos has gone missing again. He needs good linemates to play well. I'd love to see him on the other side of Stastny and Hejduk's line. How could that not work? (Besides, you know, Marek not playing very well.)
• During the Colorado game they brought up the Rycroft-Smid fight again. After seeing him in person, that fight makes both more and less sense to me. Again, I'll just pretend the announcers never said a word.
• As the Oilers went into the dressing room, I felt stupid putting my hand out, so I just said, "Good game, Smytty" as he passed. After that, Raffi passed by, and I was too frightened to say another word. He looks as mean in person as he does on TV (in the best way possible). He probably scares the crap out of his opponents.
• Sturm's first goal was pretty indicative of how the game went. It was a great goal, but Hejda never should have left his feet on the play and Horc got outmuscled in front of the net. All in all, the Bruins played well, but got help from some Oiler mistakes.

We have a snow day, and my friends are currently drunk, high, and watching "The Backyardigans", meaning I'm done posting.

My Future Son

Whoever saw the Oilers game last night also saw what I can safely say is the cutest little boy I have ever seen. This is vastly more important than the actual game, which I'll get to in a moment. They interviewed the boy during the feature where they have little kids play in Rexall Place. Here's a rough script of his cuteness.
Interviewer: So how do you think your team played?
Boy: (with wide-eyed terror) Good.
Interviewer: So, how did the other team play?
Boy: ...yeah.
Interviewer. Who is your favorite Edmonton Oiler?
Boy: Wyan Smyth.
You have no idea what kind of reaction this got out of me. I absolutely melted, frightening my little sister Mary a bit. If I ever have a son, he will be exactly like this little boy. (A warning to this kid's parents- I might actually try to steal him. Watch out for that.)

Beyond the kid, it was a good game for the Oil with a 5-1 win over the somehow 4th seeded Atlanta Thrashers. The Thrashers went ahead 1-0 then proceeded to get dominated. Despite having a 4-goal lead and a pretty assured win, I was still nervous at the end of the game. I don't know if it's been just the Oilers or if the Bruins have contributed to this as well, but I have absolutely no trust in leads anymore. It's not that I expected the Oilers to lose, but I didn't have any confidence that they could hold the Thrashers to one goal. Thinking about it now, it probably does have a lot to do with the Bruins. Seeing the 2-minute meltdown of the Carolina game in person was a scarring event, though it was really just the cherry on top of the last two seasons. The Bruins didn't start out badly, if anyone remembers. At the beginning of this season I was confident in them. I was talking to my friend back then about the difference between this year and last. What I said was that last year, if we for some reason lost a lead, we were emotionally broken and unable to take it back. But at the beginning of this year, you got the feeling that they could recover and get themselves back into any game. After that they completely fell off a cliff. They might be worse than last year.

I always end up going to the worst Bruins games possible. Whitney's hat trick was painful (even more so after a Carolina fan near me threw his hat on the ice mockingly). Last year I went to two games: a 6-0 loss to the LA Kings and a 5-2 loss against Ottawa that made me realize, for the first time, that we didn't have a very good team. This year I've seen one win (against Washington) and losses to Buffalo and Carolina. I really haven't ever seen them play well. The opposite is true of the Red Sox. Not only did I have great seats for Orlando Cabrera's return and seats 8 rows back of the Sox dugout for a Big Papi walkoff, but I went to the July 24, 2004 game against the Yankees that Bill Mueller won with a walkoff against Mariano Rivera. People say that it changed their season, and that that game was the point where they made their run for the World Series. I've never seen the Bruins go near that. I hope one of these days the B's can play a great game in front of me, though not tomorrow. Tomorrow goes to the Oilers.

I missed the Avs game because I had practice, but I don't think I'd enjoy a 5-7 loss to Dallas anyway. I hate those guys. It seems like the more teams I like, the more teams I hate. I legitimately hate Dallas, Montreal, Calgary, Detroit, Vancouver, and Buffalo. Actually, when I evaluate the whole league, I find that I like 7 teams and dislike 15, to varying degrees (the other 8 I just don't care about). When we first got the CenterIce package last year I could watch any game that was on- I would just pick a side and enjoy. Now I flip through the games and find myself saying stuff like, "Oh, Ottawa vs. Atlanta, that should be a good game...except that I really don't like either team." The longer I follow teams, the more animosity springs up, and I have a hard time letting stuff go (i.e. my undying, ferocious, almost irrational hatred for Daniel Briere because of one game).

When my teams are playing well I hate for them to face each other, because one of them has to lose. Right now, though, I'm excited for the B's facing the Oilers. At least someone will win! Ugh, I hate to be pessimistic and everything but no one is showing any consistency. I miss Jarret Stoll.

Reliving the Crazy

I have an essay due tomorrow. I've been putting it off forever, but I finally have to write it. To inspire me to work, I was looking through journal entries from the spring, when the Oilers' playoff run helped me get through my final exams. There were only one or two from that week, as I was too busy attempting work, but the craziest one was from Thursday night, June 15. It's a little necessary to post parts up here. Keep in mind that this was written while I was still in a compromised state.


"It's two in the morning now. In the past 68 hours or so, I've gotten about eight hours of sleep. The cause is my English final. We were assigned an essay on Monday. It's due in 7 1/2 hours. In 7 1/2 hours I have to write another essay. We were given eight possible topics for our in-class part of the exam, meaning we have to plan eight possible essays, meaning eight outlines- eight thesis statements and 24 topic sentences. In 7 1/2 hours. I haven't prepared any yet. I also haven't studied for my math final outside of class. I have that in 5 hours and 45 minutes. I have to start getting ready for school in 4 1/2 hours."

"I'm saying this as objectively as I possibly can. There is scientific basis to it. I think I'm losing my mind. Sleep deprivation does that."

"I went down to the kitchen to make and retrieve more coffee. While making it, a mosquito landed on the cabinet above the coffee pot. I was deliberate and cautious in my planning of its death, but too much so. I moved the coffee pot out of the way and the mosquito suddenly took off and disappeared somewhere over the sink. It scared the crap out of me. I started seeing bugs everywhere in the kitchen. I think four things caused this. One, I always see bugs out of the corner of my eyes because I'm paranoid. Two, I'm losing my mind. Three, the fan above the light was casting crazy ass moving shadows that reflected off of everything. Four, there actually were a fair amount of bugs in the kitchen. I affirmed this. While waiting for the coffee to be done brewing I pulled a chair up to the counter and slumped over. I listened to the coffee being made and felt somewhat intrigued self-despair to keep awake. While I was objectively despairing, I said in my head, 'Thank god for the Edmonton Oilers'. After a few times I snapped back to reality. What would the Edmonton Oilers do? I had to do the work, no matter how crazy I was going. I was sane enough to know that."

"When I had finished my cereal I stood basically in the middle of the kitchen to drink the coffee. The lights were being shadowed. It was then that I probably saw the most bugs. I saw a lot of things, little wisps of steam coming out of the sink after I looked at my coffee and such. I smiled and joked to myself that I might as well be useful and hallucinate that Ryan Smyth was there. I actually tried but it didn't work. I saw the fuzzy outline of my reflection on some surface and wondered if I could hallucinate him at least there next to me. There was some shape next to me, maybe the door, but it looked a little like it was moving closer and it was creepy so I stopped doing that." [By the way, it wasn't just the reflection that was creepy there. What the hell was I doing? If I were Smytty I'd get a restraining order or something against me.]

"I think it was sometime around then that I started to hear the hockey game. My dad, asleep, had the TV on to some show possibly on Comedy Central. I swear, all the voices sounded like the OLN announcer. I heard him say "Pronger carries the puck by his man, shoots, scores" almost calmly. I scampered out to the hallway to see if they were replaying the game or something. Nope, just the random show. I smiled. It had sounded very real. Then the game sounds got more persistent. I heard the name Peca a few times, Hemsky maybe twice, as well as Andrew Ladd. In the beginning I was humoring it and stared at the stove absent-mindedly, trying to picture the game the announcer was describing. There was no real flow. It said the name Ryan Smyth and I perked up instinctively. That started to worry me. The sounds then got too bad. The announcer kept talking, but it was all gibberish. He said, "Game one, game two, game four". I heard a puck ring off the post. It was entertaining at first, but it didn't stop once I knew it wasn't real like the peripheral vision bugs."

I don't want to be too self-indulgent with all of that. At the time I was just trying to write down what was going on so I'd remember, but once I re-read it I just wanted to share it.
Now, after this MASSIVE distraction, I have to write my essay. Damnit.

First is the Worst

I have no idea what I'm up to. This is the first post of my first blog, so I guess I should explain myself...in Q&A format.


Why is your blog called "The Littlest Defenseman"?
I'm 5' 2", and in addition to watching more hockey than I really should, I also play hockey. I've played for eight years and been a de the whole time. My dad, who thinks he's really funny and has coached me forever, was teasing me in front of my sister and said, "Yep, we call her 'The Littlest Defenseman'. She's just like the other defensemen...but littler." If you know him (which you don't...) then you'll know that it was actually pretty funny, that my sister thought it was way funnier than it was, and that he hasn't stopped calling me that since.


Why do you love hockey?
I haven't the slightest idea.
I come from a hockey family. My dad has played since he was a little kid, and my mom always watched hockey. She skipped school waaay back in the 70's when the Bruins won the Cup to go see the parade in town. I'm captain of my high school team now, but won't be playing after this. In fact, I have at most a month of playing hockey left. This isn't the best time to start a blog, then, because in a month I'll be writing emo posts about how I cut my wrists with my skates to make the pain go away. I give everyone permission to A) call me out on it, and B) find it really funny. I'd do the same to you.
To rant on for too long, I also love to watch hockey, and follow three teams rabidly- the Bruins, the Avs, and the Oilers.


How can you possibly root for three hockey teams and live with yourself?
This is the only time I'm going to apologize for my three-timing. It's awful. It's terrible. I'm a really bad person for it and I'm not being completely sarcastic when I say that. I hate myself for it more than anyone else can. But I can't do anything about it. It's too late.
I've always been a Bruins fan (born and raised). The year before the lockout, I started following hockey a little more closely. That was the year that Paul Kariya (then my favorite player) decided to go to the Avs for a year. Even though there was no CenterIce package or anything, I decided to follow the Avs. That was the most openly terrible part of this, because it was so conscious, but in my defense I was hardly out of middle school and it was my first year on my own as a fan.

The Oilers were much more accidental, but also terrible in their own way. During last year's playoffs (I could barely write that for the blatant bandwagon-ry that it implied), I was rooting for San Jose over the Oilers in their series. Since the Avs played the Oilers a lot, I had never liked them much, and I had liked San Jose even before Joe got sent there. The thing is, I didn't like them enough to see a sweep. I wanted a good series. So when the Sharks went up two games to none, I told myself that, for the sake of the series, I wanted the Oilers to win game three. My spirits were still with San Jose, though, until I let the Oilers in a little. Slowly they began to win me over. I'd catch myself and remind me that I wasn't really rooting for them, but I was slipping. When Ryan Smyth got hit in the face with a puck, I fell. I remember thinking to myself, "Oh shit...now I'm rooting for the Oilers, aren't I? Fuck." The triple overtime win sealed the deal.

I've rooted for teams to win the Cup before, then dropped them once the playoffs ended. Everyone does. I wanted Anaheim to win against New Jersey, I wanted Calgary to beat Tampa Bay, and of course I wanted the Avs to win with Bourque before I was a fan of them. The reason that I still follow the Oilers (I figure I can't call myself an "Oilers' fan" for a while) is because of the Finals against Carolina. That week, I had my final exams for school, and only slept 10 hours combined. By Thursday night I was hallucinating and actually heard a hockey game (Edmonton vs. Carolina, of course) going on in my kitchen. It was rough, and the only reason I got through it and got everything done was because of the Oilers and how they battled back to get to Game 7 of that series. I mean, I was so emotionally connected to them because of that week that I cried when they lost.

I guess what I should have said, in MANY less words, is that through some events colliding over the past few years, I'm hooked on three teams. And once I'm hooked, I'm hooked. To dump any of these teams now wouldn't make me more of a fan of the others. I'll write about all three.


Do you have a life outside of hockey?
No, not really. During the winter I go into "hockey hibernation", where all I want to do is play or watch hockey. It drives my friends nuts. For three seasons of the year I see them every day, then all of a sudden I disappear. Because of this, they all hate hockey.

I do see them sometimes, though, so I might occasionally mention them. I'm a movie whore, so I might mention movies sometimes as well. During the summer I'm an intense Red Sox fan, so during the summer I'll write about them.

I'm in the college application process. My top school is the University of Alberta, because I want to study paleontology and be in a place where my friends won't hate hockey. If I get in, I'll be sure to write an annoyingly overjoyed post about it, so get ready!

Thanks for reading, if you did. As you can see, it's physically impossible for me to write a short post. I'm sure I'll chill out sooner or later, right?